It was a cold night but I ran nonetheless. Always I run with the same pursuits - to better myself and for inspiration. Rarely have I not felt a sense of both. But tonight...
...as I approached the point where I am furthest from my home and the point at which I would normally sense some insight developing, I sensed something else altogether...
...My penis was frozen. And in pain.
I felt warm everywhere else. Perhaps my blood decided to abandon that part of my body. Maybe it is not so surprising considering the frigid air and my poor choice of garments to shield myself from it. This whole situation might have even been avoided had my boxer shorts kept it housed as they are supposed to.
The discomfort was unbelievably distracting. Destroyed was my ability to focus on any high-minded ideal. There would be no songs and no poems conceived during this journey for this unease demanded the full attention of my mind.
I considered making the rest of the trip home with my hand on my crotch but this would have sent the passersby over the edge since they were probably already wondering what kind of a sick fool would run in this weather.
I finally made it home and discovered I had managed to shave a couple of minutes off my time, which ordinarily would have excited me. I let out a big moan as I collapsed on the couch and began to try and transfer some of my body heat to that poor, poor fellow. As it began to thaw I thought I was going to puke. But instead I started laughing hysterically. I laughed hard and stupid. And then I began to write this all down.
Everything is fine now, by the way.
i'm only laughing because you did...wow, what an impetus to run harder! too bad i can't use that technique.
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