http://youtu.be/lku919uaeVM

Illumination

Illumination

I stood on a rock
in a field of grass and apple trees.
I was called to this spot,
called to stand there
and watch the clouds move
and the limbs
and to sense the earth turning.

I came here for direction,
that I might receive it
and that I might offer it.
What fire will I gift to the world?
What seed for the growing infertile?

I stepped down from the rock
and I was freezing.
I will walk to the creek,
I thought.

I imagined a human being
careful and deliberate
walking through these woods.
Fulfilled without imbalance.
Existence without harm.
With knowledge of the natural world,
its healing powers and abundance.
Communicating with all things.
Genius, green and growing.
Strong, enraptured and naked.
The care and the caretaker.
Concentrating the will toward illumination
and progress alone.

Seeing the water
I sat down and said to myself,
"We can be as beautiful as we want to be."

A Crystal in a Sea of Crystals

I run
to put the devil back in heaven.
I run
to put the fruit back on the tree
and be naked again.

I run
to see all things within myself
and to see myself within all things.

I am a crystal in a sea of crystals.

I Ran Instead

I could have pulled the sun out of the stars
and rolled it across the earth.
I could have set the world on fire.

I ran instead.

I could have ground my teeth to the bone.
I could have screamed all the air out of my blood.

I ran instead.

I could have stayed home
and harmonized with my hopelessness.
I could have closed my eyes
and let denial sing me a song.

I could have ignored everything.

I ran instead.

And I got to where I wanted to be.

The Runner's Low

It was a cold night but I ran nonetheless. Always I run with the same pursuits - to better myself and for inspiration. Rarely have I not felt a sense of both. But tonight...

...as I approached the point where I am furthest from my home and the point at which I would normally sense some insight developing, I sensed something else altogether...

...My penis was frozen. And in pain.

I felt warm everywhere else. Perhaps my blood decided to abandon that part of my body. Maybe it is not so surprising considering the frigid air and my poor choice of garments to shield myself from it. This whole situation might have even been avoided had my boxer shorts kept it housed as they are supposed to.

The discomfort was unbelievably distracting. Destroyed was my ability to focus on any high-minded ideal. There would be no songs and no poems conceived during this journey for this unease demanded the full attention of my mind.

I considered making the rest of the trip home with my hand on my crotch but this would have sent the passersby over the edge since they were probably already wondering what kind of a sick fool would run in this weather.

I finally made it home and discovered I had managed to shave a couple of minutes off my time, which ordinarily would have excited me. I let out a big moan as I collapsed on the couch and began to try and transfer some of my body heat to that poor, poor fellow. As it began to thaw I thought I was going to puke. But instead I started laughing hysterically. I laughed hard and stupid. And then I began to write this all down.

Everything is fine now, by the way.

And so it begins...

I ran for the first time since the summer. I ran until my lungs were full of cold metal shards that the cold air fashioned and gave me to breathe. I ran until I was spitting up my soul.

It was a day of heavy thoughts, thoughts I went to sleep and awoke with, thoughts that occupied my mind while I sat at the window and watched the sun go down, thoughts that made me welcome the night.

I stood on my porch looking this way and that way. I could run there, I thought. There being a path that would offer solitude and safety and whatever else. Or I could choose the path that would lead me to the heart of this abysmal city, to the center of its ugliness.

I chose the latter. I chose it precisely because of its dark promises.

I ran and I came to the edge of a land where a factory once stood and employed thousands but failed and was deserted and its toxins allowed to sink deep. In time I know the earth will correct this grand mistake. Already grass has come to live there again. And there was snow from one end to the other, untouched. It was beauty right there in the lion's den.

I want love to grow here in this town, this town that is sacred to me. I want to befriend it and embrace its many sad hearts. Whatever hope and wisdom I have, I want to share with it.

And so it begins...

Testing

Testing, testing. 1. 2.